Our Mrs. Reynolds

Overview: After a celebration in which the crew is honored for ridding a planet of a group of bandits, they return to Serenity to find a woman named Saffron who claims that Mal married her during the festivities.

Airdate: 10/4/02

Directed By: Vondie Curtis Hall

Guest Stars: Jason Gray (Holder), Christina Hendricks (Saffron), Benito Martinez (Boss), Erik Passoja (Bree), Bob Fimiani (Elder Gommen), Alex Stemkovsky (Bandit #1), Zachary Woodlee

Of Note:
"Our Mrs. Reynolds" is a play on the 1952 TV show, Our Miss Brooks.

Quotes:
Mal: Da-shiong bao tse shr la duh too-tze (The explosive diarrhea of an elephant!)

Book: (to Mal) My apologies! You were victimized, Wash was beaten, and Inara found you here.
Inara: And then I fell. My head got hurt like Wash.
Mal: I don't get any of this.
Inara: I only fell is all

Mal: But she was naked and all... articulate!

Mal: Are you offering me a trade?
Jayne: Trade?! Hell it's theft. This is the best damn gun made by man! It's miles more worthy than what you got!
Mal: What I got? She has a name.
Jayne: (holds up gun) So does this. I call it Vera.

Mal: Um...Saffron...i-it...it ain't a question of pleasing me. It's more a question of what's...um, of what's morally right.
Saffron: I do know my Bible, sir. "On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow. And he shall work in her in and again 'til she bring him to his full and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast."
Mal: Oh. Good Bible.

Mal: You have the same right as anyone else to live and try to kill people.

Saffron: We've been wed. Aren't we to become one flesh?
Mal: Well, no. Uh, we're still two fleshes here.

Mal: I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume that I'm an evil, lecherous hump.
Zoe: No one is saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeh, we're pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.

Jayne: You got a wife? All I got was that dumb-ass stick sounds like it's rainin'. How'd you get a wife?

Jayne: I married me a powerful ugly creature.
Mel: How could you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?
Jayne: If I could make you prettier I would.
Mel: You are not the man I met a year ago.

Book: If you take sexual advantage of her you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

Jayne: (about Book) One day you're going to tell us how a preacher knows so much about crime.

Wash: I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not married, somebody not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky.

Mal: Don't you ever stand for that sort of thing. Someone ever tries to kill you, you kill them right back.

Kaylee: Don't feel bad - he makes everybody cry. He's like a monster.
Mal: I am not a monster!

Review By: Jason James Rating:

This is a good episode. You get to see Mal in a rather uncomfortable position and the rest of the crew take advantage of the situation. This whole crew relationship is very funny. The relationship between Mal and Inara also gets progressed a little. Overall this is a good episode and I have watched it several times.